Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...the Internet!

After my last post, I began thinking about the importance of the internet. I rarely leave the Plasticave without first stealing the neighbor's wifi surfing around.

For example, as I travel around Oregon, I use Wikipedia to research some of the areas I visit to surveil suspects.

Once, while undercover, I tailed a criminal from the bustling metropolis of Greenhorn to Portland's urban Mills End Park. According to Wikipedia, mayor Frances Villwock wields the gavel over Greenhorn's population of two. And while Mills End Park's 452 square inches did not make surveillance a challenge, it was good to be prepared.

Craigslist has become an invaluable resource. Plastigirl and I met when I saved her from some dastardly deeds and she was immediately attracted to my bulging muscles. However, if you are looking to make a romantic connection, you may want to be direct and place an ad like this young, Asheville man who advertised  "Take advantage of my new lower standards."

Need some furniture? Where else can you pick up a chair that Ralph Nader possibly sat in?

You can also be entrepreneurial and advertise such services as dead body burials in your back yard.

Amazon is a great resource because of the many user reviews. Being a man of science, I recently needed to purchase Gupta's Chemical Shifts and Coupling Constants for Silicon-29. But before I spent the $7,600 (ships for free with Super Saver Shipping), I decided to read the reviews on Amazon first. I'm glad I did because it confirmed all of the good things I'd been hearing about it.

I was indecisive about what type of pens to buy. I finally went with Bic because of the four star Amazon review here.

Of course, the GM of the internet era, Google, is ever so helpful. Don't speak English? That's OK, because Google's homepage is available in dozens of languages including Klingon.

If you are feeling lost, looking for the meaning of life, try searching Google for the "answer to life, the universe and everything." You'll find it.

Finally, direct your browse on over to the last page of the internet: www.wwwdotcom.com


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About this blog


  • Politics.

  • Internet.

  • Technology.


A masked vigilante, the Plasticgraduate is a 21st century crimefighter for truth and justice.

He writes from an undisclosed location in the great state of Oregon. There, he wages a lone battle in a world where the natives are bent on the destruction of humanity.

When not eliminating scum from the Earth, he lives peacefully with his family in the Plasticave.

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