As an independent crimefighter trying to make a buck, I am competing with Portland's Finest among many other public servants. It can be a difficult row to hoe when their services are paid for by your tax dollars and I have to charge a meager fee to my clients.

I, of course, offer high quality. I promise not to kick the sh*t out of you if you pay me. I have yet to shoot 12 year-old girls with bean bag guns. So when the Portland Police ask for a raise, it galls me.

I fear it may be time to seek greener pastures. For my next post, I will be reporting on the outlook for crimefighting from other locales. Any suggestions?