Users Find Help at the Betty Ford Clinic of Internet Addiction

I recently stepped away from the computer to get a quick snack and take a bathroom break. When I got back to my workstation, I had received a pop-up on one of the many monitors I have alerting me about how to deal with my internet addiction.

Of course, the plasticgraduate really has no such problem. While there are 87 million Americans who are stuck on the Facebook for hours and hours,  I much prefer the old fashioned string and tin cans. Since the Bush administration, though, illegal wire tapping and string tapping have been rampant. One can never be too careful, which is why I'm considering canceling my string service and Comcast and sending all of my data via carrier pigeon. That way my data should be safe from the authorites, unless the pigeon is suspected of terrorism. In which case I will have to hand deliver this blog to your door.


4 comments to "Users Find Help at the Betty Ford Clinic of Internet Addiction"

  • Dear plastigraduate, thanks a lot 4 the info about internet addiction. I do not need it 4 myself but my husband does not understand this World w/o Internet. This situation is very annoying, but yesterday nite I was able 2 see that my husband's internet problems are part of his genetic code. Do u have any advise??

  • Your blog is much o,re interesting than mine...

  • Internet is almost as bad a nicotine--not that I have ever had a problem with either of those things. Still, some weak people do.

    They now have scorpion logos printed on tobacco products in India, in addition to the words that tell you it will kill you. What is an appropriate logo for the computer screen?

  • @Anonymous: I attempted to do a Lexus search to determine whether there is a genetic factor in internet addiction was but my research was stymied. Apparently Lexus is the make of a luxury car, and I started reading about the various models offered, thinking about replacing the Plastimobile (which didn't qualify for the cash for clunkers program as you may know) and soon I forgot what I had started searching for in the first place.

    @SuperKate: You are too kind. I do not believe that for a moment, the plasticgraduate has simply found himself in a different station in life.

    @Hari: I've always enjoyed a stogey from time to time. Before I met the Plastigirl, many of my conquests said I smoked in bed - but I never noticed.

    As for warning labels, I find Steve Jobs kind of scary. Perhaps his mug in the bottom of the screen will warn off the weak-minded.

About this blog


  • Politics.

  • Internet.

  • Technology.


A masked vigilante, the plasticgraduate is a 21st century crimefighter for truth and justice.

He writes from an undisclosed location in the great state of Oregon. There, he wages a lone battle in a world where the natives are bent on the destruction of humanity.

When not eliminating scum from the earth, he lives peacefully with his family in the Plasticave.

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