Showing posts with label sasqui. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sasqui. Show all posts

The Vanity internet smackdown: Google vs. Bing

I have been accused many times of being a yahoo, or a yokel, in my lifetime, and have placed many yokels in the 'bing,' but my research shows I can always count on Googol, even if I can't count past thirty. No, math isn't my strong suit.

So, I decided to do the ole vanity Google search for myself and see what I found, but I wanted to expand my horizons, and give Microsoft a chance, with their newfangled search engine, Bing. But, being short on time as I had a call on the radio about an assault in progress, I though it best to combine the Bing and Google searches in one, using Bingle, a website that compares the results of the king of searches with the pretender.

First, I searched for 'plasticgraduate.' Google was the clear winner. I was nowhere to be seen in Bing's results. So I began searching for friends and family members. I started with Sasqui and was disturbed to see a grainy video someone captured of him walking in the forest. Frightening:

But even more disconcerting, were the various images of other women posing as Plastigirl.

While she does play pool, and even wears a striking, black vinyl suit when we go out on the town, I assure you, she does not get on the table, even after a few beers.

Funny Pictures

And while I cannot reveal her maiden name, she changed it to Plastigirl once we began living in sin. She is not Plastigirl, however, as the result of surgery.

Finally, she is not bionic. But she does know how to boogie:

Yer nothin' but an English speakin' cur!

September 19, International Talk Like a Pirate Day, came and went at the Plasticave without much notice. In fact, throughout the great state of Oregon it went largely unnoticed as most people went about their daily life. So when September 30, International Translation Day, came, I knew it was time to expand my linguistic horizons.

Now, as it turns out, my neighbor, Sasqui, was a supporter of the (failed) 2007 HB 2459, which would have made English Oregon's official language, and allowed state government to provide information only in English. Sasqui always says, "If English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me."

But through the magic of Markie Mark Zuckerberg and his Facebooks, we can now exhibit our multilingualism in the privacy of our own homes. Because not only is Facebook now available in languages as exotic as Euskadi, Bosnian and a bunch of languages with curlicues, but also in Esperanto, Latin and Pirate.

I will be contacting one of our lawmakers to get Pirate named as an official state language. I will keep you apprised of the results in a future bottle message.

About this blog

  • Politics.

  • Internet.

  • Technology.

A masked vigilante, the plasticgraduate is a 21st century crimefighter for truth and justice.

He writes from an undisclosed location in the great state of Oregon. There, he wages a lone battle in a world where the natives are bent on the destruction of humanity.

When not eliminating scum from the earth, he lives peacefully with his family in the Plasticave.

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